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This is inspired by Chris and Dionne’s prom stories.
On the Friday three weeks before prom, the woman who asked me out to prom told me she wouldn’t be able to go with me because she wanted to go with her boyfriend that she had just acquired earlier in the day.
I had to go home and tell my mother that I no longer had a date to prom. For some reason, however, I didn’t tell her immediately. I mulled over it over the weekend and on Monday, as all of the posters and streamers were being put up, I was standing at my locker talking to a classmate when she walked up. She being Eva.
Eva was one of the most attractive juniors at my high school. And she was at my locker. She told me she found out that Lynne wasn’t going with me any longer and she was happy that I was free from having a date, because she wanted to go with me.
Plans I made with Lynne were now heavily edited to become plans with Eva. I scrapped the rental car and me and my oldest brother got a limo. (I wanted to go bigger, but then I remembered The Cosby Show episode when Theo got everybody to get a helicopter and ruined the date. So, a speedboat on the Elizabeth River was out.) She told me she was wearing red and so I made sure my tuxedo’s cummerbund and bow-tie was red as well. We discuss plans and ideas and things we wanted to do and just everything. She was really excited to be going out with me…and I was just as excited about going out with her.
Fast forward to Saturday, May 16th.
My hair was cut. My tux was sharp. My limo was CLEAN. Me and my brother was STYLIN’ on folks; one dude we went to school with came out of his house ready for prom, saw us, threw his hands up and said ‘Never mind!’ and went back in the house. We were dressed to the nines. My brother’s date had told him that she was doing some last minute preps, so she wanted us to go get Eva first and then come back and scoop her up. Cool. I called Eva and prepared to tell her that we would be there shortly.
No answer.
I called back after 5 minutes.
No answer.
The limo driver is getting paid by the hour and we only got him for 6 hours. It’s already 6:25 PM… he was scheduled to leave us at midnight. He’s making money whether he’s driving or not. So he’s just sitting there counting money while I’m counting to 10 to make sure I don’t lose my cool. I called her back again at 6:35.
No answer.
By this time, my brother is like, look, we can go get my date and then go get Eva as planed. No big deal. We go to scoop his date up… and she walks out of the house looking like Jayne Kennedy. Simply beautiful.
So, we’re in the limo on our way to get Eva. I use the limo phone to call the house… still no answer. My brother notices that I’m getting frustrated and keeps cracking jokes to keep me laughing… but the entire time, I’m just like:
We finally get to her house and who is pulling up at the same time? Eva. She JUST left the hair dresser and she needs to get dressed and put on make up. It is now 7:30. The dinner arrangements we had planned are canceled: we need to get to prom and soon.
Fast forward to 10:00. We had to wait for the photographers to set up again to take our prom pictures because we arrived so late. The food was damn near gone. I was announced junior prom king, but because I wasn’t there to accept my award, it went to the second place guy. The live band has announced that they are playing three more songs and then they are leaving. I asked Eva for a dance…
…and she flatly tells me no. She’s here to dance with her friends and that’s exactly what she’s going to do.
I go outside to catch some fresh air because I don’t want to lose it in front of the people that was left at prom and I notice that my brother is outside at the limo. I go over to him and first he congratulates me on not winning Junior Prom King and then he tells me how his date left with her ex-boyfriend. I look back at the convention center that our prom was winding down at and I told him let’s go.
That’s right. I left my date at prom.
I haven’t seen her since.
That made me say fuck my Senior Prom and I didn’t go. There is exactly ONE picture of me and Eva for prom…
…and it’s buried in my grandmother’s attic.
I hope it stays there.
Dilly Dally, Shilly Shally. I am everything and nothing at the same time. I am the knight in shining armor, here to save the damsel in distress. The distressing part? Underneath my helm, I'm the dragon, too. President and CEO of The Free Big Tits Movement.
