Not So Random Thoughts

Not So Random Thoughts Dilly Dally, Shilly Shally. I am everything and nothing at the same time. I am the knight in shining armor, here to save the damsel in distress. The distressing part? Underneath my helm, I'm the dragon, too. President and CEO of The Free Big Tits Movement.

Thank you to everyone who sent their condolences and well wishes.

I love you all.

It looks like I’m at some famous person’s funeral.

So many people.

So many people loved my granddaddy.

He touched so many lives.

I’m proud to be his grandson.

There’s a different energy in my childhood home.

It’s missing a bit of warmth.

The funeral is at 11 AM… but I can’t sleep.

My mom is truly hurt. She asked me to sleep at the foot of her bed. I’m hurt, but I have to be strong for everyone.

I miss him. He taught me so much. And honestly, he was my moral compass. I’ve gotten lost once or thrice and he’s always been there to push me in the right direction. He never once stop believing in me. Even when I fucked up horribly, he always hugged me and said “Baby, you got to live your life for you. But do it right. Do it with love. Do it with respect. And do it knowing that your family loves you no matter what- I love you no matter what.” And man, did he ever.

I lost my grandfather on Monday. But more than that, I lost my father. I know one day, I’ll see him again.

Doesn’t make the pain lessen any.

Doesn’t make my heart not hurt. Hurt for my grandmother. Hurt for my mother. Hurt for my aunts and uncles. Hurt for my cousin. Hurt for my sons, whom I will make sure they know how great of a man he is.

It’s weird. Part of me wants to grieve and cry and scream and yell and fight and just explode in sadness and anger and frustration… but the other part of me, the part he will live on forever in… that part is telling me to just be strong and make sure everyone else can draw from your strength.

So, for the next 16 hours, I’ll do just that. I’ll sleep near my mother. I’ll be stoic and surefooted and confident. I’ll be whatever anyone needs from me. And when I get home, I’ll hold my youngest son and be strong for him. I’ll hug AP and be strong for her.

And when that moment comes when all is quiet and peaceful and I’ve carved out a moment for myself, then, and only then, will I allow myself to be weak and cry for my beloved grandfather. Cry tears of sadness that I can no longer hug him. Cry tears of joy knowing he’s no longer in pain and is somewhere fishing and gardening.

Just cry.

And then make sure my family knows I love them.

Addison R. Mozelle
January 23, 1937 - September 15th, 2014.
My grandfather.  But in my mind and my heart, he’s my father.  Always has been.  Always will be.
Love you, Young Man.  Always.

Addison R. Mozelle

January 23, 1937 - September 15th, 2014.

My grandfather.  But in my mind and my heart, he’s my father.  Always has been.  Always will be.

Love you, Young Man.  Always.

God don’t make no mistakes.

Wow, so sorry for your loss.

Thank you, Kenda.  Means a lot.

You have my condolences.

Thank you, Olivia.  That means a lot to me.

My grandfather just passed away.

77 years young.

He died at home, surrounded by family.

I miss him already.

I’m glad he got to see his great-grandson before he left us.

He was my grandfather, but more than that, he was my father.  That man raised me.

I wish I could articulate more, but words are escaping me right now.

Hug your family.  Tell them you love them.  Never let a day go by without telling them.

This speaks to me on a level my feeble mind cannot comprehend.

Reblogged from geekscoutcookies

This speaks to me on a level my feeble mind cannot comprehend.

(Source: papazin)

Shout out to the women who don’t try to curve you on the dash when you send them asks.

You out here doing God’s work.

I’m thankful; you’re welcome.

Wow.

Reblogged from caliphorniaqueen

Wow.

(Source: kingjaffejoffer)

Reblogged from thepleasureprinciple

thepleasureprinciple:

Good Night from AP&G. This is coming a little late but I didn’t want to miss a day. This is the little man fighting sleep edition. Shitty McShitster shat up his back so he had to get a bath. It was a new color green.

We got an Instagram now because I want a place I can share with family and friends the abundance of pictures I take of him without being annoying. So follow me on IG @aprilsharniece and send me yours so we can have friends and shit.

Obviously I’ve said with because he’s kicking sleep away now so it’s time to go lay him down.

My family.

I just binged on Kill La Kill.

24 episodes in 3 days.  Not bad.  Could’ve done better, but eh, had to work.  And play Destiny, as it were.

What’s crazy is that I got hooked on that and finished it so damn quickly, but I still need to finish Soul Eater.

*shrugs*

When The Money Goes (Original Version)
Jay-Z

"I don’t want you to do it like B.I.G. with me: I don’t want you to die for me, baby; live with me…"

Reblogged from hazeleyed1

(Source: bshepjr)